As a junior in college (Davidson, in North Carolina), I muddled along in typical confusion when it came to world religions: “Ten people say ten different things – how can we know what’s really true?” I had dropped out of pre-med, realizing I hated chemistry and biology, and I devoted myself to drinking, partying, having a good time. My mother, meanwhile, was a Christian, and she tried incessantly to get through to her wayward son. Her efforts were met with enormous hostility and outrage. When she called me on the phone (I never called home), she’d say at the end of the call, “Don’t forget Jesus loves you.” Before she could finish the sentence, I would slam the phone down as hard as I could and cuss loudly. In her letters there was always a “PS: Don’t forget Jesus loves you.” Instantly, I wadded up the letter and threw it angrily in the post office trash.
One school break when I was home, my Mom cornered me and talked with me about Jesus. I protested loudly and yelled at her, “What do you want me to do, Mom? Lie to you, and say I believe something when I don’t?” My mom could never win a debate with me – I could argue circles around her. But this time she looked straight in my eyes and asked me a question that I didn’t know what to do with: “Son, IF Jesus is who he claimed to be, and IF he’s the only Savior of the world, would you want to know that, and would you follow Him? That one got under the radar! I quickly realized that if I said “no’ to her questions, I would be acknowledging that I really didn’t care about truth at all. Not thinking there was any real possibility that Jesus was more than a mirage or a crutch for needy people, I answered her, “If Jesus really is who He said He was, and if He is the only Savior of this world, then I do want to know it, and I will follow Him.” My mom, smiling and full of love, looked again into my eyes and said softly, “Then you will.” I had no comeback for that.
Several months later, during Spring Break in Daytona Beach, Florida, I was at an outdoor dance behind a hotel on the beach. I had downed my pint of rum with 7-up and had a girl under each arm, having a blast. Then the band told us it was intermission time and to gather round to hear someone speak. “I am an all-American football player,” the young man started. “I had received lots of awards, but inside there was an emptiness I couldn’t fill. Jesus Christ filled that void.” I stared at him incredulously. “This is a dance,” I jeered. “What’s going on here?” It turned out that Christians (Campus Crusade for Christ) had sponsored the dance. I laughed, scoffed, ridiculed. But the seed was planted. I saw something in that football player I knew I didn’t have – humble confidence, peace, a meaning and purpose in life.
The next semester I took a course entitled “The Life and Ministry of Jesus.” I set out on a holy quest, to understand this Jesus of Nazareth. I was like a thirsty man in a desert; earnestly wanting to know if the oasis I saw ahead was a mirage or the real thing. Jesus’ words penetrated deeply in my soul: “I am the light of the world; those who follow Me will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life” (John 8:12). Was Jesus crazy? On some huge ego trip? Or was He grounded in a truth I knew nothing about? As I read the New Testament, two things about Jesus really drew me to Him. First, He was completely REAL, authentic, and genuine. I was a role player, playing whatever role it took to get what I wanted. I really didn’t know who I was or what my life was about; but Jesus knew exactly who He was and what His life was about. I was intrigued. Second, Jesus had incredible persuasive power. He’d walk up to people, say “Follow me,” and people would leave everything and follow Him. I reckoned He could have been the richest man in the world, and use His power to dominate people, to gratify lusts and greed. But He never did. Instead, He loved people, and He identified with the least and the last and the lost. He gave all He had, even to the point of intentionally sacrificing Himself on the cross for others.
At that time, I did not believe in the miracles or the resurrection of Christ. But I was intrigued by Jesus – no, more than that, I was awestruck by Him. He became my hero. The more I read, the more I wanted to follow Him, be like Him … the more I loved Him. One day, as I was reading a book by a German theologian, the challenge was raised: “Jesus wasn’t saying simply to believe this creed or adopt this code of ethics. He was saying: “Follow me. Yes or no. Either – or. Paint or get off the ladder.” Without realizing what was happening. My heart said, “YES!” A veil was lifted, love engulfed my entire being, and I began to weep. I was “born again.” Christ made Himself real to me. It was as if He picked me up and said, “Clay, I am real. Now serve me.” I was utterly astounded. God’s love and presence melted my heart, and I wept off and on for days. When I went home for Christmas break that senior year of college, I was a changed man. I went to a Candlelight Communion service on Christmas Eve and wept all the way through it. Jesus Christ completely and irrevocably changed my life. I will never be the same.
If you want to follow Jesus Christ, I encourage you to invite Him into your life today. Here is a suggested prayer:
Lord Jesus, I need you. I have made mistakes in my life and I am sorry. Thank You that You love me and died for my sins. Please come into my life. Thank You, Jesus. Fill me now with the Holy Spirit, and help me to follow You. Amen.
Note: Please let me know (click here) if you prayed this prayer. Thanks!